Strange land dream is.

It is still happening.
Why are your presence in my dreams still exists?
It's not that I don't like it,but,still,why?
It's obvious that I never crossed your mind,and never will be.
I'm just confused by your presence in the dream.
Did that mean something?

Oh,yea,your favorite color was blue,was it??
Is it still is??

Illusion.

Assalamualaikum.

It was that dream.

It was her.

She was there.

You wouldn't know how much I hope that event to occur.

Oh,yeah!

Assalamualaikum.

Yeah,after 3 months of rests and holidays,semester baru akan bermula.

Yeah,I can't complain of not getting enough rest this time.

Yeah,I did many things dalam masa 3 bulan ni.

Yeah,these things that I've done,most of it are A-W-E-SOME!

Yeah,some things did bring me down.

Yeah,I'm going to make some changes for the new semester.

Yeah,I didn't do much for last ones.

And,no,I don't think my current blog is actually a blog.

I might need to get a new one.

Keberadaan yang menyedihkan.

Assalamualaikum.

Biarlah aku menjadi seorang manusia biasa yang mempunyai perasaan yang tidak cukup kuat untuk diakui kuat.

Masih tidak tahu kata-kata hati sendiri.

Aku berharap perasaan itu sekuat dulu.

Perasaan yang cukup kuat untuk telusuri hidup ini.

Makin hari,aku makin lemah.

Dek kerana kepercayaan yang dibiarkan tidak terjaga.

Memerlukan masa untuk pulih hingga tahap yang boleh diharap.

Tapi,aku ada cara aku sendiri.

Cara yang aku fikir dapat membantuku.

Aku tak telusuri hidup ini keseorangan,tidak bersendiri dan bukan dunia ini tujuan aku hidup.

Biarlah aku buat sehabis baik untuk tujuan aku hidup ini.

Back Pass

Assalamualaikum.

After a while,I returned to UIA for some video shoots.

We wanted to get some shoots from the registration day.

Owh,it also means that I'm going to start studying,after being idle inside for a long time.

Great,now I need to talk with my mind for a sec.

Owh,and and,juniors macam ramai je yang lawa-lawa.

Famous Last Words

Assalamualaikum.

Hey,hye.

I'm terribly sorry.

I've been a selfish brat,yet again.

I forgot about your feelings,only to care mine.

I forgot that you've done much,yet I act selfishly.

I'm running away,yet again.

I ran arrogantly,not knowing that i left something behind.

Maybe now you see,how selfish I can be.

Maybe this is why I'll keep running and hiding.

Until the time comes.

Before it's too late,I want to say that whatever you'll choose for your future,don't stop half way.

I'm in no position to say this,but,trust yourself,and God will help,insyaAllah.

Time to go to war.

Assalamualaikum.

I'm currently lost.

I need some soul-searching.

I will be less connected to the world,as long as it takes.

To the people who cares about me,don't worry,I will try to be safe.

And if these are the last words,I would like to seek for your forgiveness upon all my wrong doings.

Whatever it takes,I need some changes.

And if I change into someone less liken,I am terribly sorry.

But I promise I'll try not to be.

Until then,so long.

Fake

Assalamualaikum.

Whenever my life is in a very exciting condition,I can highly sure sorrow will follow.

It's like whenever I'm enjoying life,there is some kind of energy is being drained,and it causes the gloom when it's depleting.

Knowing my life,this is what it seems to be.

Or maybe I'm already gloomy when I appear to be bright.

Maybe I'm just wearing a mask,covering the truth.

hoi

Assalamualaikum.

Okay,aku tahu kau akan baca blog aku.

baca ni.benda ni keluar bila aku nak anta message kat kau yang tak reti2 nak tunggu:-

You have been blocked from sending messages because you repeatedly misused this feature. This block will last anywhere from a few hours to a few days. When you are allowed to reuse this feature, please proceed with caution. Further misuse may result in your account being permanently disabled. For further information, please visit our FAQ page.

okay,shut up for a moment boleh tak?

pahal nak kutuk2 orang?

tak tau apa2 diam lah.

semalam sebab kau tu nak sangat aku hantar cepat sangat,fb dah suroh aku masukkan captcha2 tu sebab igt aku spamming.

tapi sebab kau still nak aku layan kau,aku masukkan captcha2 tu,sampai fb block dari aku hantar message.

tolong la,boleh tak jgn nk kusut2kan keadaan?

okay,kalau kau anggap diri kau tu bagus sangat,dah la,jangan la message2 dengan aku lagi.

pagi2 aku bgn ade message camni,sape tak panas kak oi.

Heroes.

Hye,Rene'.

Could you do me a favor?

They called you The Haitian.

Could you delete some memories from me?

Thank you.

Morning,Sunshine.

Assalamualaikum.

Once,I said that to forget someone,is to hate someone.

I am sorry for those who I had corrupted with this unthoughtful idea.

Hate doesn't make us forget someone,it blinded us with that particular someone's good and we will only see the ugly side of him or her.

I am very sorry with this.

Maybe,it's better not to forget.It's a memory,we should treasure it.

And I've learned,that deep down inside,there's a light that never goes out.

Envy

Assalamualaikum.

Masih wujud lagi perasaan iri hati dan cemburu yang membuak,walaupun aku tahu kau bukanlah apa yang ada untuk aku.

Perasaan cemburu yang hanya memberi tumbukan yang tajam menusuk jantung,tapi tiada apa-apa kesan pada kau.

betul lah apa yang Roy Mustang kata, 'Envy is truly an ugly thing.'

Oh,berubahlah.

Assalamualaikum.

Aku sudah letih lesu melihat laman blog ini, penuh dengan post yang berunsurkan kehampaan dan kejatuhan.

Seperti membawa maksud hidup aku penuh dengan kehampaan dan kejatuhan.

Perubahan diperlukan.

Biarlah orang tahu hidup aku tidak selalu jatuh, selalunya naik dan memuncak.

Terasa hati

Assalamualaikum.

Aku bukan lah manusia sempurna,dapat menyelaraskan diri dengan apa yang orang lain mahukan.

Jika kesalahan kecil pon dianggap kesalahan sepertinya aku telah membunuh orang,maaflah,itu bukanlah salah aku.

Jika kau mahu sempurna sangat,kau pergilah buat dunia kau sendiri.

Seperti kau mencabar Kuasa yang Lebih Besar kerana mahu semuanya sempurna.

Kau tidak mampu lakukan yang itu.

JIka kesalahan sekecil zarah kau anggap sebesar semesta,maaflah,itu memang bukan salah aku.

Begini lah.

Assalamualaikum.

Di saat seorang sahabat aku kecundang dengan perasaan,aku kecundang dengan masa silam.

Your image,I tried so hard to re-construct,yet,only a blurred images were screened.

Once in a while,I would like to see you again in the memories born when our fate intertwined.

Yet,I know,you will never know that I try so hard to let you know how excruciating I am now to let you go,to make choices while ignoring the Higher Power that will forever help me to go through this life.

I am so much startled to see that how ugly is the after effect of a choice made by my lust,pride and jealousy.

If ever I could have such power to do as what you have done,forgetting every piece of the past,and move straight ahead to the future.

Maybe the only thing I can do is to think that you deserve better,and forgetting me is a way to make your life to be in a better state.

I know this will only be a one-side conversation,as these words will never be in your knowing.

Hidup ini tidak lah seperti permainan video yang selalunya kita boleh menang selalu.

Ieqmal Emeer,kemenangan masih belum lagi milik kita.

Inilah yang ada.

Assalamualaikum.

Tiada lagi kata-kata yang tercipta di dalam minda untuk ditekapkan disini,masih lagi kosong.

Masih tidak tahu arah tuju,adakah itu betul,adakah itu salah.

Masih lagi keliru.Petunjuk yang diberi tidak mahu diikuti,masih lagi berkeras hati.

Yang ada di depan mata dikaburkan,yang tersembunyi dicari,memburu tanpa henti.

Kekal berkata-kata dengan mulut,tapi kurang melakukan dengan tangan.

Masih tidak tahu apa yang perlu,dan apa yang mahu.

Maaf atas repekan ini,kesulitan amat dikesali.

Sekian.

Second Wave of Despair

The second semester has ended.I thought it was a good semester,but,too much happened during this semester.I wasn't myself most of the time.The only time I am me were when I am with my friends.Too many things happened that hurted me within,caused some bleeding,incurable in these short times.Yet,I know,this won't stop me.
And,for those who are trying to forget me,I won't care anymore.As long as it's something you wanted to do,I won't stop.And I am very sorry for the action I acted,the selfishness,the jealousy,the stupidity.I'm glad I met you,eventhough it's me that destroyed the relation.
I am a destroyer.
There are many things I need to learn in this world,as some might say,everything won't go the way you wanted to,it's called reality.
Hear me,these feelings that i thought once to be true,now,a despair to me.